When I was in the midst of my adrenal fatigue battle my memory was terrible. When I was grabbing some groceries, I would think about something I needed to get in the next aisle and 2 steps later completely forget; or I’d try to speak and forget what something was called – the classic was when I told my son off for playing with the curtains when in fact he was playing with the candles, this is now a family joke. The most scariest was when I unintentionally shop lifted..
I went to a shopping centre to pick up a ring that had been replaced and saw a shop had a sale on so I thought “great I’ll be super organised and get my mother in law’s birthday present for next month”.
Feeling quite fuzzy I focused on the sale rack and tried to think of the best size. I saw a really cool leopard print top for myself and grabbed it along with a top for my mother in law. I tried both tops on but decided that I wouldn’t get the top for myself as I didn’t like the fit. On the way to the checkout I hung the top up on a rack outside the change rooms, sat the top for my mother in law on the counter and had a quick look at another sale rack. The very helpful sales assistant pointed out some great accessory bargains which I then looked at and grabbed a couple of items. I paid and walked out feeling quite pleased. As I was going through the list in my phone of what I had next to do I felt really quite fuzzy. I pushed myself to get the couple of things from Kmart but abandoned my list after that and went to the car. I grabbed lunch from the drive through at McDonalds, I had wanted to go to Banjos and grab a nice salad roll but it was too far for me to walk when I was feeling so woozy.
As I pulled into my garage I looked down and noticed that I had dropped some lunch on my lap, I looked again at my top thinking that it looked different. I got out of the car and had a closer look. SHOCK HORROR I felt sick! I had the insert on from the top that I tried on!!!! I quickly grabbed the receipt out of the bag and rang the store. Shaking I apologised profusely about my mistake and promised to return the top that day.
I grabbed my book “Adrenal Fatigue the 21st Century Stress Syndrome” by James L Wilson and quickly scanned for the page that talks about memory loss and the inability to concentrate. I copied the page and highlighted: “The adrenals also have an effect on mental states. As a result, people with adrenal fatigue show a tendency toward increased fears, anxiety and depression, have intervals of confusion, increased difficulties in concentrating and less acute memory recall.”
I laid down for a rest but found sleep impossible. God has grown me so much and I aim to be a Proverbs 31 woman, a godly woman, it is not in my nature to shop lift. I pride myself in my integrity and honesty! I am horrified that this happened. I was frustrated that my brain wouldn’t make the connections it needed to make.
It was truly terrifying! I felt so betrayed by my own mind – the very thing that was supposed to help me had in fact failed me completely! I returned the top and the ladies were very understanding but it left me feeling afraid to go shopping again for quite some time.
Recently I read something that really caught my attention:
“You see, we just tend to sit in our problems and not even realise what they are when the spirit of forgetting strikes. And the monumental nature of some of the things we forget is… well, monumental. The spirit of forgetting is one that dismembers truth. And so, from that, we can tell one of the best approaches to overcoming it: ask God for the re-integration of truth in our lives.” Anne Hamilton
This revealed to me that there is a spirit that can cause me to forget, forget in many different ways and many different things. BUT most importantly this spirit can make me forget my real identity. Scary! But the good news is that if there is a spirit that makes me forget then there has to be a spirit that helps me remember. So I rebuked the spirit of forgetfulness in my life and I declared that God has given me the spirit of remembering – remembering who I am – a child of God!
My statement or excuse prior to this declaration was ‘I just can’t remember’ but I now declare God’s truth – that my mind is being transformed and my memory is being restored – I remember now.
Our minds are so precious and valuable and it’s wonderful to know that God values our minds so much that he gives us His very own peace to guard them: “….the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7 NKJV
My prayer for you today is that God will restore to you a memory buzzing with His glorious rich truths.
My own prayer today is this: Lord I once again lay my past down, enable me to forget about the things I no longer need to carry. I lift my eyes and my heart towards heaven, I press forward with my head high and my spirit rejuvenated to press forward towards ALL that God calls me to through Jesus. Inspired by Philippians 3:13-14